Cancer

Cancer…all at once!

Early detection is the key, they say. But how? Can someone invent a full-body scan to check for any and all types of cancer? Beginning at the age of 20 or 25? Or as part of a yearly check up?

My husband was warned by his younger brother 5-8 years ago to have his PSA levels checked in his blood work; you have to request it. He started doing that, but we weren’t aware it was specific to Prostate Cancer, we just knew that his family has a history of cancer. His mother died of leukemia. His oldest sister died of breast cancer and two other sisters have had double mastectomies. At least 4 older brothers have survived prostate cancer. His father died of prostate cancer, which is sort of an anomaly. He had the cancer removed to survive it years before, but when it came back in his 70s, Carl had already watched his wife and oldest daughter shrivel away into an unrecognizable person through their battles and he decided not to do anything about it at that point.

So how do you know which cancer to check for? When?

One of my favorite, most impressive and sweet students last year suddenly learned that his dad was going to die. Mom came to school to let the principals know, there is no hope. None of us knew from what, but she wanted her child’s teachers to know. This student didn’t want to miss school, but truly did not want anyone to know. The day before our AP Exam, we learned that the father had passed. I immediately sent him a PM ensuring he knew he could take the make-up exam later along with a few other students who had conflicts. He really didn’t need to worry about it. No. This student showed up along with all his classmates at 7:15am for our collective breakfast, took the AP Spanish Language Exam, and, as I learned in July, earned a 5.

In early November this student and I actually had a private visit during lunch and were talking privately. I mentioned that my husband had just found out that he had Prostate Cancer, but that it was caught really early, was small, and we felt pretty good about the upcoming surgery. My student’s demeanor changed, he looked at me as I was talking and then said, “Yeah. I wish we had known. My dad was Stage 4 when we found out.” I didn’t ask what kind of cancer because it doesn’t really matter – it was cancer.

One of my wonderful, sweet tennis buddies just lost her husband to cancer (lung and liver, I believe?), in his second battle after having recovered several years back. They are in their 40s which is not old (in case you’re in your twenties or younger reading this…40s is barely mid-life my dears!), very healthy, active, and did everything they could to battle “the Big C.”

One of my sisters-in-law, in her mid-40s, recently went to the hospital because of severe chest pain. They found a mass on her lung, close to her heart. The biopsy revealed that it is cancerous, so they will perform surgery to remove it, but the location is extremely dangerous. She is young, healthy (mentally, physically, and spiritually), and has three extremely active, athletic children. Why would she be checking for cancer? Why would she not? Which one should she have checked for? She doesn’t smoke? Why check for lung cancer? Why would she get to the point of chest pains from a large mass before anything showed up on any blood work, scans, tests, etc?

I’m not asking for a reasonable, medical, scientific answer – I don’t want anything explained to me, thank you very much. With so many body parts and so many cancers, why do we have to wait for early detection (again, of which one?), to start surgeries or biopsies, etc?

I’m thankful I “only” have to deal with prostate cancer which, of the common cancers, has the highest survival rate. It’s very common and very survivable. *the following chart is from the AARP Bulletin, November 2021, which came to me the day after Fred was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer*

Does that mean I don’t worry about my husband? No, it does not. He had a heart attack in 2014 and I know that any surgery always carries a certain amount of risk. But we trust Washington Regional, his doctor, and pray a lot.

But…what other cancers out there might attack him that we need to be aware of? How do we manage “early detection” when we don’t know what we might be looking for? At what point does checking for any possible cancers become paranoia?

Why do we not worry incessantly about this until it touches our lives personally? Because thinking daily about the incurable (in many cases) and death all the time will drive you nuts! I can’t think about all the possible ways my children or husband or mother or sister or father or brother might die. Like when you hear about your cousin’s child dying – you can’t really, truly try to imagine how he feels by putting yourself in his position or you will have a breakdown and never stop crying. You try to empathize and then try to put it out of your mind as often as you can. Cry your heart out at the funeral and for a day or two and then try to pretend you don’t think about it. It works mostly and then every once in a while you remember just what happened and…no, don’t think about that again for now.

The same with cancer. I just can’t think about it all the time. I feel defeated. Frustrated. Helpless. So I pray. God is good. “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” ~ Romans 15:13 NIV